Imagine you are standing in an apple orchard. Your hand has to only lift itself about half a metre above your head and you can pluck an apple and lustily chew it. Or better still that huge refrigerator which is parked in your living room. Just pull open the door and the seams burst with goodies that you take in front of your television set and munch at, like a blob, as you watch The Simpson’s up to their madness. All that is readily available, well within your grasp, as you go through the daily ritual of living.
Not when you sit in the loo exerting your energies to help those excreta out of your system. You put in enormous effort and exhale and yet it simply refuses to come out of your system, simply because, you are constipated. The Herculean energy, which you exhaust in trying to bring that out, is no mean effort. That is the force you have to exert and the farce you will have to endure in order to understand life.
When a King asked his Court Jester, how he felt on hearing about the birth of the crown prince, the Jester replied that he felt as relieved and as happy as he did after a good shit. The mighty monarch was much offended. The Jester meekly requested the King to go with him for a boat ride the very next morning. The King consented before ordering the Jester to the gallows. The next morning as they were about to set for the journey, the Jester prevented the King from entering the loo. The King obliged, as he had to settle scores. Midstream, the king felt the urgent call of nature. But the Jester continued rowing upstream much to the consternation of the King. The Monarch was in great agony. He pleaded with the Jester to take the boat ashore. After much persuasion, the Jester steered the boat to the shore. The King jumped off the boat and ran for the bushes. When he came back, the Jester quietly enquired how the Monarch felt. The King had a mighty laugh and gifted the Jester many jewels.
That feeling of bliss very few people feel in a lifetime. That is a mighty feeling of contentment. In a world full of unhappy people, remedies such as these seem the only solution to lives besot with troubles. That exclusive feeling of bliss after a good crap. Do not ever underestimate the enormity of such a rare pleasure. That is the time when the mind is truly at rest. It is much more than an orgasm. Enjoy it!
Unfortunately we do not know well enough to count our blessings. We always treat life as a mystic force, which great thinkers have tried to probe, grapple with and failed. Life is where it is. Simple and unassuming. You only need to grasp its essence. The pure bliss of a good crap can never be underestimated. In the bull crap of the universe, your simple personal crap can give you supreme satisfaction. Try it out. That is the only recipe for happiness. Crap and be happy. Take the shit out of your system. Outrageous yet true!
We are too loaded with crappy notions that need to be shat out before we understand the essence of life. Flush out the crap you were loaded with before you eat your next meal. Make sure what you eat this time around gives you the sheer pleasure of emptiness as soon as you wake up. For only then can you live the rest of the day feeling fresh and invigorated.
That is why we need to start on ground zero. The crap of all our yesterdays gone, we can approach life with greater vigour and energy. To begin with chapter one would mean you start with a premise that already exists. There will then be remnants of a past life. We don’t want that. For aren’t we here to start life afresh. We have to work towards that stage where we start believing as if life didn’t exist beyond this moment. Feeling like newborn babies can we try to understand the patterns that were beyond our understanding even yesterday?
Today is the time. Now is the moment. So we are here on the perfect ground. That is ZERO. What a number!!!! That is what makes the world go round. The perfect circle. Don’t worry, we are not here to go round and round in circles. It is the circle that makes life perfect. The moment you ascribe numbers to life and situations, you deprive the moment and situation of the greater magic and fun of being. Only after you “BE” then you become. So let us start by BEING. That is the beginning premise; and what a better way than to start from zero. The neutral point gives you the balance to see the world from afar. Only zero is that state. No qualities or attributes. You can meditate in perfect poise and behold the total picture.
Let not any emotion or thought taint this moment. Dispossess yourself. When the mind is an empty slate you can allow nothing to happen. Only when nothing happens can you understand the quality of living and being. So remember. Just BE. Start with a zero. Only then can you proceed further. If you are bored with the crap by now, retire to the loo. Have a good crap and continue with your life.
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